Saturday, August 28, 2010

Guide To Making Your Man Into The Perfect Edward or Jacob!

C'mon, like you haven't wished your guy (or potential guy) were more like your favorite Twilight leading man! I'm going to give you ladies a guide for gearing your man in the right direction to becoming the selfless, romantic Edward or the fun and feisty Jacob we all love. *This is only for fun :) or is it? *hehe*

I first fell in love with Edward when I realized that he loved Bella more than he could ever love himself and not to mention he was the most beautiful creature alive. Once I saw the first movie, it was a done deal for me. To have your own real life Edward he must:

*Be an excellent driver. Nothing under 90.

*Have delicious tousled bronze hair & sexy crooked smile.

*Sacrifice himself on many occasions to your advantage

*Dance like he was floating....with you on his feet

*Perfectly chiseled jaw and man-scaped eyebrows

*Want to shower you in diamonds...I'll take some hand-me-downs please!

*Be able to read everyone's mind but embarrassing would it be to have him know exactly how many times a day you drool over him?

*Speak many different languages

*Love you enough to let you keep your friends...even if they do smell like a wet dog ;)

*Sparkle when he is in sunlight...all women like shiny things :)

Of course not everyone is an Edward fan (how is that possible? ;] ). Some prefer the carefree, reckless Jake who is always the life of the party. He's dangerous and careless but warm and sweet (NEVER repeat I said that *haha*). So if you're looking to make your guy into Bella's warm, fuzzy friend here are the must-haves:

*Must be insanely huge...lots of beef patties will do the trick

*Remains at a toasty 108 degrees. Just the ticket for cold winter nights or after near death drowning incidents.

*Must be able to teach you to ride a motorcycle and then fix it after you wreck it.

*Showers you in conversation hearts and handmade charm bracelets

*Kicks his friend's ass when he goes all wolfy on you

*Be able to chase psycho red-headed vampires.

*Loves movies lik
e Face Punch

*Must be able to take a punch from you without breaking your hand...

*Scaling the side of your house at night to get to your window is a MUST

*Last but not least...Must rock the cut off jeans with no shirt.

There you have it! Now you have all the tools to go out there and get your own supernatural boy toy. If that doesn't work out...there are always plenty of Mikes in the world ;)


  1. Sounds easy....not! :p

    Add to your merchandise...
    Twilight (Edward) mobile/ipod sock case/pouch

  2. Sorry girls, I love this page, but this article is a perfect example for Twidiocy... Make my man into what? I've fallen in love with him 'cause I loved the actual one he was, NOT other fantasies!
    Don't be silly, Twilight is a lovely thing, but NOT the reality.
    If it was a joke, it was a bad one.

  3. Wow really? I thought it was funny. She said in the first paragraph it was for fun, I would hate to think anyone would take it that seriously. Lighten up!