Name: Laura M
Age: 20
Country: England, Derby.
Bio: My name is Laura, I am currently at Sheffield Hallam University studying English and Film. I love socialising with friends, watching films and reading books. I love Stephanie Meyer's descriptive writing and think she is a truly talented author.
The Winning Piece:
I woke up and touched his beautiful face. Sometimes I couldn’t believe his beauty, his dark russet skin was flawless, and his shaggy black hair glistened in the morning sun light. As soon as my hand made contact with his warm, soft cheek he smiled and opened his eyes. I picked one of my favourite memories of me and him together. Our wedding day! It was ten years to the day I had said “I do” to Jacob, and I had become Renesmee Black. I could never get used to how good that sounded in my head. The image I was now showing him was me walking down the aisle. I remembered it so clearly, the butterflies as I gripped my father’s arm far too tightly (not that that would have hurt him.) I was never one for being the centre of attention. I guess I got that off my mother, but as soon as I saw him the butterflies flew away. Jacob and I were meant for one another, more than that in fact. We were Imprints of each other. Every part of us just fits together perfectly. He is my ying, I am his yang. We got to the front of the aisle and my father kissed me softly on the cheek.
“I love you Nessie.” He whispered. “You look beautiful.” I didn’t have to reply, he knew
exactly what I was thinking.
‘I should look beautiful with the amount of time Aunty Alice has spent on me.’ I thought. Alice
had insisted on being my wedding planner. My mum had previously warned me it would be
much worse to turn her down and to just go along with it. I didn’t mind, I was marrying Jacob,
what else mattered?
My dad chuckled and muttered something like “Just like your mother.” But I wasn’t listening
anymore. Jacob was within my reach and I needed to be near him, to touch him again. Dad
took his place by Jacob’s side, the best man and the father of the bride. Not that he looked
like my father. My dad was frozen at the lovely age of 17, My mother at the age of 18 and I,
well we aren’t sure, but just so I am closer to the age of Jacob, we say I am 16, although it
is more along the lines of 31. I’m not a vampire like my parents, nor am I human. So we are
unsure whether or not I will ever look older than this. My creation is something that is rarely
heard of, even in the world of vampires and shape shifters. So far I have been frozen to look
like this for the past 21 years.
Jacob took my hands and nothing else mattered anymore, I was now complete. He was
staring deep into my eyes. I loved this stare; it made me feel like he felt just as strongly
about me as I did about him, quite impossible to believe however.
“Breath, Jake.” I giggled.
He shook his head, remembering the processes involved in inhaling oxygen. “Wow Ness,
you’re so beautiful.” He reached out for my hand which I took without hesitation.
I beamed at him and noticed my mother in the corner of my eye. She truly is beautiful. Her
Long dark hair flowed elegantly down her back that complimented her pale smooth skin
beautifully, she was wearing a silk fitted lilac dress, something I know she would have no
enjoyment of wearing. I looked into her eyes, the same eyes I had inherited off her and
smiled, she smiled back and I knew that if it were possible for her to cry she would have
been. The priest began to say our vows.
“Happy anniversary Ness!” He smiled and rolled so that he was on top of me. The heat that
emitted from him made my skin tingle instantly. It was like my body yearned and ached for
this heat, I would never tire of it.
“Happy anniversary Jakey!” I replied, just in time before his mouth was crushing down on
mine. I was gentle at first. My tongue curious to touch his, after a few seconds however, it
began to grow impatient. My hands helped me by grabbing his neck and pushing him down,
closer to me. It seemed like I couldn’t have him close enough. My hands traced up and down
his muscular smooth back. I was burning up, like a fever, a fever that was so delicious, so
more-ish, I never wanted to recover. He pulled away, too soon for my liking, and stared at
me. I couldn’t help but pull a sulking face, He smiled.
“I got you something.” He beamed.
“I’ve got all I need right here in this bed, thank you very much.” I whispered, slightly out of
breath.
“Oh is that so?” I nodded. My back arched up enabling me to kiss him again. This time it was
soft, sweet, but oh so tempting.
I gasped for air, “Yes I think you’ll do just fine actually.” It wasn’t that I had anything against
presents, I loved them in fact, I just loved kissing him more.
“Well I know you’re gonna love this.” He unlocked my arms from around his neck, kissed my
head, and then jumped up out of the bed. “I’ll be back in a second.” He strode across to the
door in just three strides, something that would usually take me about eight.
“Your times up.” I teased; he winked at me and left the room. I looked around our bedroom;
it was our own little paradise. My parents had brought us the house as a wedding present;
one of the advantages of my dad being able to be in our heads was that he knew exactly
what we wanted. The room had dark pine walls and floor, with a gigantic, luxurious cream
rug in the middle. Opposite our bed was a huge fire and mantle place, full of photos of our
family. And next to the bed is a huge bay window that looks out onto a small tranquil lake.
Something that Jake loves when he has changed into his wolf self.
He was back before I knew it, holding one hand behind his back. I sat up and pushed my
curly hair out of my eyes. He bent down next to me. “Close your eyes.” He whispered, his
voice tingling straight through my skin, into my bones. I could never resist this voice. I closed
my eyes without hesitation. He picked up one of my hands and dropped something light
into my palm. “Okay, you can open them now.” Once again I did what he had said. I looked
down at the gift he had given me; it was an antique looking bronze ring. At first that’s all I
noticed about it, but as I glanced closer I noticed an inscription which Jake said aloud as I
read it, “My love is forever yours.” I reached out to him and touched his cheek once more. I
have always found this a much better way to express myself. To be able to touch someone
and show them exactly how I am feeling or what I am thinking at that exact moment.
“It’s beautiful Jake, it’s absolutely perfect.” And it was, I was a complete sucker for
old meaningful antiques, something with character behind it. He knew me so well.
Jake’s eyes lit up. “I knew you would like it.”
“Like it? I love it! Now where were we?” I was hungry again, not for food, for him! “I want
to give you your present.” I moved in to kiss him, he shifted away again. This time I didn’t
understand. “What’s the matter?”
Jacob stared out the window, alert, someone was out there. “I don’t think now is a good idea
Ness, Bell’s and Edward are on their way.” I groaned at my parents “perfect timing” and slid
out of bed.
Of course I'm down that I didn't win, but, Laura clearly won this. :) Well done bbe.
ReplyDeleteShannon-Leigh Murphy, 13
wow, that's amazing, i wish there were more!
ReplyDeleteU are really talented!! congrats!!!
ReplyDeleteWell done I was back in my books again with that same feeling wow. You should write the 5th book.
ReplyDeleteWOW!! That's amazing :O Well Done :)
ReplyDeleteI don't loke Jacob very much but if I read one book like that I would change my mind!
Good job. Congratulations
Rute 19, Portugal
OMG!!! that was do good, I could almost see Jacob and Renesmee! HOpe you continue to write it was excellent!!!!
ReplyDeleteI am and always will be Team Edward.
ReplyDeleteBut that was AWESOME! =D
I actually believed I was reading a 5th Twilight book and was a little bit distraught when it ended.
Keep going (please please please!)
(=
That is soo amazing!!!!!! you are soo talented! i want to read more - thankyou soo much :)
ReplyDeletestephanie should write a book with this im so interested i want to read more
ReplyDeleteHey guys! thanks so much for liking it :D never imagined i would actually win :D xxxxxxx
ReplyDeleteAwesome, but I want more
ReplyDeleteit was all twilight mode again...m sad though as it ended too fast...please write more...u r too talented...best wishes
ReplyDeleteVery good Laura. I feel you successfully took on Stephenie's narrative well. Great subject too. Thanks for your contribution to twilight, its people like you that allow us to love it even more :-)
ReplyDeleteThat's really great :) I want more ;) There were tears in my eyes while I read this. You should give this to Stephenie.
ReplyDeleteabsolutely amazing!! i hope one day you will be inspired and write more beautiful stories like this! i wish you the best
ReplyDeleteCongratulations Laura!
ReplyDeleteVery well written. Well deserved. Keep up the good work. For all we know, you could be the next Stephenie Meyer.
Cheers.
omg laura tht was rad! i <3 jacob n nessie i want more.
ReplyDeleteaww shannon leigh murphy im sure your piece must be awesome too heh y doesnt lik every1 who wrote in somthin get it all posted smwhere? tht could be supr cool like we could read EVER1s idea. heh twilight blog you up for it? like post all of them pieces i know im totally curious. oh we could have a vote lik umm yea so guys you wana read the others stuff too or not?
so awesme!! I wonder if an1 would vote?
that is sooooo beautifully amazing!!
ReplyDeleteBrianna Quirk, 13
this is such a wonderful story!!!! i love it!!! of course I want to read more...you really deserved to win the contest!!!!! congratulations!
ReplyDeleteOMG! So beautiful!!! Congrats for winning, you did a fantastic job ))).
ReplyDeleteI always wonder about Leah...did she ever got her happy ending?
Dani
thats my girl :) x x
ReplyDeleteI'm not that much into Renesmee/Jacob story, but I really enjoyed reading this one! Congrats Laura!
ReplyDeletewaaaaw, will you finish that story? you have to let us know than!!!
ReplyDeleteThat was amazing - Thank you for such a beautiful picture of what Jacob's future will be - I am a huge Team Jacob and it does my heart good to have this pic in my head. You are an amazing writer and I hope you continue to give us great writings like this one. Congratulations - well deserved. God Bless.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the great feedback guys, im so glad you enjoyed reading it :) and yes i am deffo considering writing more :D xxx
ReplyDeletePlease please do!! ha your from where i live x
ReplyDeleteI'm so freakin pissed off right now ...
ReplyDeleteI hate the fact that Renesmee ended up with that moronic Dog , I didn't need to read this too
UGH
pappa moose always new he had a bright young lady. Sooooo proud x
ReplyDeleteHi Laura, it is so great i felt like the time i wrote the books i just love it :) pleas more ;)
ReplyDeleteGreetings from Germany
Sarah
Wow this is great !!x
ReplyDeleteI don't suppose you want to continue writing it i would love to read more.
awww its so sweet i loved it
ReplyDeleteWatch out stephanie Meyers I think Laura wants your job. Good work Laura. The story is Brilliant.
ReplyDeleteSarah M Derby
i hope stephenie recongnizes talent when she sees it ..I KNOW I LOVE IT I FELT LIKE I JUST FINISH BREAKING DAWN AND I JUST GOT MY "RISING SUN" (the continuation of Renesmee) YOU KNOW YOU LOVE THAT TITLE HELLO I AM AND FOREVER WILL BE TEAM EDWARD BUT TEAM JACOB IS OUT THERE AND JACOB IS RENESMEE'S SUN NOW...CANT WAIT TO READ MORE...
ReplyDeleteThat's great! Congrats Laura :)
ReplyDeleteHi, twilightblog! Im Yeye from Mexico. Before all, my congratulations to Laura!.
ReplyDeleteHere's the thing... a lot of latins twifan's, read this text, but so many people here in Mexico can't speak/read/etc english, so it's really tired, remove and replace the lines in google translate, besides that doesn't translate correctly to spanish. So I take the liberty, to published in Spanish, 'cuz the text is exciting and beautiful. I hope dont get mad. I put all powers of book and publications, to "Twilight Blog", and clarify the authorship.
Wishing understand, I attached the link of my blog, where I publish the translation.
http://unaviolinistaentutejado.blogspot.com
I wish I could soon create a blog only for the translation.
Also, I put in each title the direct link to the original chapter.
:)
FELICIDADES, ESTA BUENISIMO!
atte: Y.
Wow! You have a gift! That was really great!
ReplyDeleteLiz