Eclipse Anticipation Reviews: The Hole In My Chest Has Finally Been Filled

By Lindsay D.

England

The hole punched its way through my chest in February of this year, when my father died.

Before this year, I hadn’t seen or read anything Twilight. Of course I had heard of it but I was way behind the times and didn’t realise just how great it was and is. After my father died I was in fact a zombie, I went through my life with minimal effort and feeling. Then in April I borrowed the films from my mother (a big choice as nothing had interested me for months). Well that was it, I was sucked into this world and I will never regret it. After watching the films I borrowed my mother’s books and had them all read within a week. I loved Twilight but New Moon really spoke to me. Although it is different circumstances, when Edward left Bella it really touched me and made me feel the loss of my father again. The hole she had in her chest, I also had. The pain she went through, I went through. The zombie she became, I had also become. Bella had Jacob to make her feel better, to be her own personal sun and so did I....Twilight.

It may sound silly to say that a book and or film can make someone feel better about such a huge loss as someone dying but it did. Twilight became my Jacob; (although I am team Edward all the way) it became my sun. I have never told anyone the reasons why Twilight has touched me so much as I still find it hard to talk to anyone about my loss. I have thrown myself into Twilight so much, since first watching the films in April (they have been watched countless times). I have read the books several times and am even throwing a Pre-Eclipse party the night before the screening. It is all I talk about. My friends, family, husband and kids think that I’m totally insane, and although I haven’t had the guts to tell them why I have connected so much, I know and my father knows and that is ok by me. When Edward came back to Bella it was hard as I won’t get that, but with Eclipse it is all about love, family, friends and moving forward.

I look forward to seeing Eclipse come to life as I know that as I did with the book I will be able to feel like I can move on in a way. The protection and love that The Cullen’s and the wolf pack feel for Bella makes me feel like there is a future for me and it can be a happy one. Seeing Eclipse on July 3rd will truly be a real turning point for me and I can’t wait.

The hole will always leave its mark on me but for now, thanks to Twilight the hole in my chest has finally been filled.