Taking It Back to the Pages: Breaking Dawn Re-Read Chapter 19&20

Bella: Chapter 19 Burning

"Reality was red, and it felt like I was being sawed in half, hit by a bus, punched by a prize fighter, trampled by bulls, and submerged in acid, all at the same time." - Bella Swan

Breaking Dawn takes a turn from Jake's POV and goes back to Bella's. This time Bella is writhing in pain. The change is happening. Edward had to inject Bella with his venom to save her from the traumatic birth of Renesmee.

The pain is almost too much for her to bear. This change is ripping her apart and burning her alive. She is aware of what is going on around her but doesn't dare make a sound for fear of worrying Edward more than she knows he already is. She can hear the voices around her when Renesmee is born and she cannot understand why everyone is keeping her away.

She sees the baby and notices her skin is warm and her eyes are chocolate brown, just like hers and her cheeks were flush with pink. How could this be a vampire baby? Before Bella can actually get a chance to enjoy the baby someone is ripping her out of her arms. She doesn't understand why.

The pain is becoming so much for her to sustain. The blackness is trying to take over her but she knows if she allows it to and gives up she will be hurting everyone. She has so much to live for. First there is Edward...she knows if she gives up and doesn't make it, he will not make it. One goes, they both go. Life doesn't exist for one without the other.

Then there is Jacob. He has stuck with Bella through all of this craziness and she allowed him too...even begged for him too. She has put him through so much and she couldn't repay him by just throwing in the towel. She owed him more than that. She couldn't give up.

Even more important there is Renesmee. Bella is a mother now and what mother just admits defeat and leaves her baby girl? Everyone was counting on Bella to live and she was going to have to be strong and make it through this. Everything leading up to this moment has been such a struggle and Bella knows that it wasn't for nothing. There is something bigger in store for her and this wasn't the end.

The pain begins to subside a slight bit but the fire is still raging through her body. She is becoming more aware of the sounds around her. She can hear Edward and Carlisle speaking and she hears the worry in Edward's voice, afraid he has done something wrong. She wills herself to keep still and quiet to ease his worry. All the while Edward is worried because she isn't reacting as she should be during the transformation.

She begins to count Edward's breaths to make the waiting and burning easier. She hears Edward consulting with Alice about the transformation and when and how it will turn out. Its so frustrating for Bella because she isn't even getting answers. How much longer will this go on? Her heart begins to race and burn and her throat is too dry....the change is almost over.

Finally, her heart stops. There is no sound. No one's breathing, not even her own. Then she wakes up to through new eyes.

Chapter 20 New

"How many times had I stared at Edward and marveled over his beauty? How many hours—days, weeks—of my life had I spent dreaming about what I then deemed to be perfection? I thought I’d known his face better than my own. I’d thought this was the one sure physical thing in my whole world: the flawlessness of Edward’s face." - Bella Swan

The change is over. Bella Swan, or Cullen actually, has finally gotten her wish. She is a vampire and will join her loving husband in forever. All of the pain and burning has brought her into this new life.

Everything is so much clearer. She can see things she has never seen before, in such detail. Even the smells are magnified. She can smell everything around her. She stands and looks around just adjusting to her new super human senses when she feels a touch.

It was a touch that had her instinctively react in a defensive manner. This wasn't a touch she had felt before. It was Edward. She instantly felt remorse for reacting as she did but then realizes that Edward doesn't feel the same since they are both vampires. He is no longer cold to the touch. His touch is velvet smooth and normal temperature to Bella.

She regains her composure and looks at Edward. She is seeing him for the first time. She has looked at Edward millions of times but she is seeing his real beauty for the first time. He is perfect. When Edward speaks, he tells Bella everything is alright. Instantly all of the extra space in her brain makes her begin to wonder about just that, EVERYTHING!

Edward grazes his hand across Bella's cheek and all of the want and desire she felt as a human was still there. She was so confused because she was positive this feeling would go away once she was a vampire. She wraps her arms around him and hugs him...even hurting him a little. She doesn't know her strength.

At that moment she knows she has to focus and control all of these raging emotions she is having so she doesn't hurt anyone. Edward begins to kiss Bella and this kiss wasn't like the others. Instead of his his lips molding around hers....she held her own. The kiss was fierce and like nothing she had ever experienced.

Everyone, especially Carlisle, is so amazed by Bella's immense control. Carlisle immediately begins prodding her with question after question trying to figure out what is making her transformation so much different. He realizes that she must be dying of thirst and the moment he mentions it...Bella begins to feel the fire in her throat that she had pushed aside.

Instantly she begins to think about her baby. She wants to see her. She insists that she gets to see Renesmee and Edward explains that they should wait. She doesn't understand. Why is everyone keeping her from her child? Edward then explains that Renesmee possesses both human and vampire qualities and it would be in the best interest of the child's safety for Bella to hunt first so her control would be more intact.

Bella's mind flutters to all different subjects, putting her thirst on the back burner once again. Edward convinces Bella that they have all of the time in the world to figure things out and encourages her to go on her first hunt. Just as they were leaving Alice stops them. She insists that Bella look at her new self.

As Alice runs off to get a mirror for Bella, Bella realizes how guarded Jasper is. Then it dawns on her the real danger is herself. Before she has time to feel bad about the fact everyone is expecting her to go insane...Alice returns with a mirror and Bella sees herself for the first time.

She is so beautifully and she hardly recognizes herself. She looks so graceful and perfect. Once she sees her bright red eyes she is startled. Edward assures her that once she partakes in the vegetarian diet that the red with go away turning her eyes the same amber color as his.

Everyone is in awe over how controlled Bella is, especially Jasper. It worries him. Edward is as frustrated as ever because even though Bella is more like him...he still cannot hear her thoughts. They share a moment and Jasper becomes more anxious every second. So Bella puts Jasper out of his misery and decides to go with Edward on her first hunt.
***************************************************************************

Holy Batman! Bella is a vampire finally. This for me happened WAY too late in the book but I was so happy that she can finally be with Edward. Stephenie did such an amazing job describing Bella's transformation. I felt every second of her suffering. WOW what suffering she went through. I am so glad it was a very action packed change because I hadn't pictured it that way.

When I figured out that Bella would eventually become a vampire...I knew it would be a smooth transition for her because she had prepared so much for it. I was sop happy to see how much control she had over herself. I wasn't really looking forward to her being a blood-crazed newborn. It was almost expected though because Bella was so controlled in her human life. She was beyond her years and never reacted the way everyone expected her too.

Poor Edward. He always thinking so negatively of himself. He just knew he did something wrong. Sometimes I hate it for him because she is the one person's thoughts he cannot hear, Gosh it was so sacrificing for her to push through the pain and keep herself quiet just to protect him. Ha ha I was so frustrated for her...hearing things going on but not having any idea what was happening with herself.

This part of the story reminds me why I love Bella so much. Here she is burning alive and absolutely miserable and all she can think about is everyone else. All she can do is think about how its effecting everyone else. She has made some pretty crappy decisions but none the less she loves everyone in her life and she has had good intentions all along. Her compassion and love for everyone in this story just leaps right off the page.

Oh and the hotness that is Bella! Oh my goodness I cannot wait to see Kristen Stewart vamped up. I do not know how it will be possible to make her too much more beautiful than she already is but I cannot wait to see the hotness that she brings as a vamp. This will be a HUGE thing for Kristen. She will have to shed her usual awkwardness and be graceful and collected. While she was playing a human...it worked because we all know Bella was a bit awkward in her own way as a human, but as a vampire she will have to be sheer bad ass. Vampire Bella is not about stumbling and mumbling she is about utter perfection.

This is probably the most anticipated part of the story for me. It brings everything in full circle. And the relationship with Edward...oh dear lord I cannot even begin to explain the excitement I have when I think about the two of them as being equals. No more walking on eggshells for Bella's safety...she can hold her own. Not only will their physical relationship be changed but emotionally its so much stronger. Everything is intensified. Phew I do not know about you guys but seriously I do not know how much Rob and Kris intensity I can take! :)

This is where it gets good guys...the story is getting so awesome so let's get the discussion going! What do you think about Bella's transformation...was it adequately described? What part are you most looking forward to seeing onscreen? What about Jasper being so guarded with Bella? Should he back off a bit or is he just being cautious? After all the preparation she has had should he give her the benefit of the doubt? Were you disappointed when Edward still couldn't hear Bella's thoughts? What are your thoughts on the new and improved Edward and Bella relationship? What about her physical looks? Do you think Summit can pull this off? What about Kristen...do you think she will make a bad ass vamp? Get it going!